So my counting of calories lasted oh, a day.

I've learned that I just can't restrict myself in a structured way. It just doesn't work for me. It backfires and turns into a vicious cycle.

Where am I now?

A few pounds heavier. Not enough that it makes a big difference, but enough that I can feel it in my clothes.

I'm amidst sugar shock from all the Christmas goodies. I need to stop before my body freaks out even more. Already I'm nauseous, bloated, and have sinus pain (which I get from too much sugar or ironically, too much fake sweetner.)

Whenever I try to eat "healthily" it feels like a diet and I end up overeating on things I think I can't have. *sigh*

Today at the store I bought everything that appealed to me that I knew wouldn't make me feel bad. For example, lucky charms appeal to me but the sugar in them does nothing but make me hungrier a few hours after I eat them, so I didn't buy them. Instead I bought:

bananas
blackberries
avocado
asparagus
roma tomatoes
mushrooms
mixed baby lettuces
oats
rice milk
muesli cereal with pecans and dates
rotissiere chicken

and a variety of other things. :)

My new philosophy is to do what works for me, what has worked in the past. I did great when I was with Monica; I'm going to follow her suggestions. Here are some of them:

Not focusing on losing weight.
Attempt to eat when hungry and stop when full.
Allow myself to indulge in holiday treats if I really, truly want them and they taste good (ie - No cookies for the sake of eating cookies, especially if they aren't even good ones.)
Eat a square of dark chocolate after meals if I want something sweet.
Taste and enjoy my meals.
Eat more greens and whole grains and "real" food.
Pay attention to how I feel after I eat to see what my body likes and dislikes.
Do something (like blog) when I want to eat when I'm not hungry.
Take time for myself.

I have two weeks off. Hurray for winter break! I have plenty of work to do on my National Boards but I also need to take time to relax, start working out regularly again, and catch up on things like laundry.